If any of your directions include both the words "upstairs" and "downstairs", please...

A lovely e-mail from my sister a few years ago when she was home for the summer and passing through Toronto on her way back to school.

Dear siblings.
If either of you have ideas as to where I could find fabric, cameras, baseball gloves, baseballs, bike lights, etc. please enlighten me. I've been running around the house and mostly coming up empty handed. I found a binder full of music. it is big. I don't know if it is the right one. It has O Canada as the first piece inside. Is the huge lens separate from the camera? If so I found it but no camera. I don't know what a minolta case or a pentax looks like. I'm kind of frustrated.

...

If any of your directions include both the words "upstairs" and "downstairs", please replace them with "I have no clue where it is so please search the entire house on my behalf"

Thanks.

-K